milliways_bar | (no subject)

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edward cullen

(no subject)

You know what proves to be problematic?

An eye patch on a cyclopean mutant.

CRASH!

"HALP!"

[TAG CERTIFIED 100% SCURVY FREE: Turanga Leela, Wilbur Whateley, Teddy Altman]

OOC: OPEN FOR TAGS FOREVERRRRRR ZOMG TLAPD YAY!

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Cue heroic rescue! Well, not really, more a kind teen removing the eyepatch.

"...Ye be ok, matey?"

Leela blinks.

"What be this treachery?"

...What the hell did she just say.

"It be a day ferrrr talkin like a pirate. ...Ye know whut a Pirate be?"

It might be worth mentioning that the purple parrot on his shoulder flaps its wings at this juncture.

"Pirate? Aye, 'course 'm familiar w' the term, ye scurvy knave!"

Leela notices the parrot. She thinks it's cute. But somewhere between her brain and her lips the coo of "Awwww, how adorable!" turns into:

"YARRRR."

"Good, had'te explain it te me alien sistarrr. Just wanted te make sure."

Ananda blinks back at Leela, and inclines her head. "Ye like me Dragoon?"

"Not sure I fully encompass t' meaning of this blasted diction!"

Yeah, she has no idea what she just said.

She's pretty sure she meant to ask why they were talking funny.

"Right nice creature ye got there," she nods. "Ain't got scurvy, I pray."

"A holiday for pirates, yarrr. And nay, she ain't got scurvy... but she ain't got a heart either, poor thing. She be the ghost offa wench, most days, matey."

"Be you out of yer head? BAR, I NEED A BLOODY TANKARD!"

Grog, anyone?

"Aye, that'll about do it. Swear you me, your bonny pet there be a dead woman's ghost?"

"It be more confusin'n'dat, matey, but I figur that be a good way'o'describin' it. Lady Barrr seems t'think she'd make a good parrot, yea."

"Lady Bar seems t'think I be needin' an eye patch. Between you me, I'd say she done lost her bloody mind."

'I could turn you into a parrot, if you prefer?'

Leela blinks at the napkin.

"Then 'gain, I say it be a fine night for spirits an' a wee bit 'o shameless fun. They call me Leela, mate. Captain Turanga Leela, o' New New York, year 3004."

"'N I be Teddy, Teddy Altman, me enemies'n'scalawags know me as Hulkling, the fiercest shapeshifter en the Seven Seas. New New York, ye say? I be from plain New York, 2006. The finest pleasawrrrr to meet ye. Is Times Square still a mess fer traffic?"

"Aye, you shift shape, do ye? Must be a dandy of a skill."

What? No, that's not a smirk. No. No.

~~Yes.~~

"And aye, traffic still be fierce, all sixteen levels o' it. I captain a delivery vessel, y'see. 'Planet Express: yer package be important, our crew be not!'"

"That it be, me fair lady. An' a vessel, ye say? What kind o' scurvy dogs ye crew be?" He's very much intrigued: space is still interesting to him, even given what he's found out.

"When they bother t' show up, there's a delivery whelp from a millennium past, 'n a robot w' a gambling habit."

She takes a long gulp of grog.

"Mad scientist fer a owner, been missin' fer a spell. Ain't had no work fer months. Swear I'll bend a marlinspike 'round 'is loaf, next time I see 'im!"

Translation: Leela is poor and she doesn't like it.

"Aw, that be too bad fer ye," Teddy answers. "Should whip 'em into shape, ye should. 'Beatin's will continue until the morale improves.' That sorta bit."

Leela laughs - and given the current state of her voice, it's a rather booming, wicked laugh.

"Aye, that I should, lad." She tips her mug at him. "I think I like ye, Teddy."

Teddy laughs back. "Unfortunately, I wouldn't be t'one te do somethin like that. Unless they're real evil, I hates t'hurt someone. But you, Mistress Pirate Cap'n... makes sense, yea?"

She smirks at the 'Mistress Pirate Cap'n' bit.

"O yea, ye don't know the half o' it, mate. Be they evil orrrr be they not, I've done a number on right smart lot. Took lessons from t' master: Arrrrcturan Kung fu. Can kick yer figurehead clean adrift, ye turn me wrong, better believe."

"I have me doubt'hat you'd be able to knock me down, but twouldn't be a farrrr fight, Cap'n. I be alien, I be." Teddy nods, and then concedes, "But it be good that ye take care'o'yeself. Keep those right scalawags 'way from ye."

"O do ye now, do ye now?" Leela questions, leaning on one elbow. "Met plenty o' aliens in me line o' worrrk, and I m'self be mutant. Wouldn't mind havin' t'pleasure of sparring with a lad as assured as yerself, if ye ever take the notion. Out that thar back door be a fine place for a scrabble; had a few already wit' some mighty fine folk."

Leela's expression is a little smug, but it's merely a friendly offer. Take it or leave it.

[ooc: EEEK. PLEASE FORGIVE THE MASSIVE SLOWTIME. RL ATE MAH BRAINZ. D:]

"Alright, but I be warnin' ya, I be havin' t'go easy on ye. I got super strength, I do."

[[Hey, don't worry about it! No problem! We can fade here, if it would make it easier on you.]]

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