Happy Hour!

[piesordeath.livejournal.com]

There are many things Ned has yet to check off his proverbial Things To Do Before I Die list, and bartending at any sort of bar is one of them.

(But why not add a couple of extra points for uniqueness? Throw in a bar at the end of the universe, too.)

The Happy Hour specials are written in very precise, neat handwriting and reflect his day-job. It's hard to stray too far away from pie-making, it seems.


Tonight's Specials

Apple Pie in a Glass
American Pie
Mud Pie


He quickly gives the bartop a wipe-down, then turns to the bar space at large.

"Okay. What'll it be?"


[ooc: And the brains have officially decided they've had enough. Slowtimes for all, please! And thanks for tagging!]

Comments

[piesordeath.livejournal.com]

He shakes his head.

"No, sorry."

[weirdwilbur.livejournal.com]

"Shame, et's easier tew explain my world tew those who have."

[piesordeath.livejournal.com]

"... sorry?" he says again, because he isn't sure how else to respond.

"So ... Lovecraft is a historian?"

[weirdwilbur.livejournal.com]

"Nope." He grins. "Horror writer. He was channelin' my world, apparently."

It may be useful at this point to note that tentacles are starting to spread across the bar.

[piesordeath.livejournal.com]

"Channeling your - oh holy mother of -"

Yeah, Ned notes the tentacles quite promptly.

"Wh - are those - uh - okay."

He's going to stop talking now, lest he offend.

[weirdwilbur.livejournal.com]

One of the tentacles pokes at him curiously, then slithers under Wilbur's coat.

"Ayuh, my world's pretty bizarre. We have ghouls an' fishfolk an' tons o' Thin's From Beyond."

[piesordeath.livejournal.com]

"No kidding," he says, still attempting to relearn breathing.

It'll take him a moment.

"What do they ... uh. Call your kind?"

[weirdwilbur.livejournal.com]

"I'm a half-breed. My Father's an Outer God."

[piesordeath.livejournal.com]

"Oh."

An Outer God. There was clear capitalisation there, so that must be a pretty big deal.

Well, anything to do with 'gods' really is a big deal.

"Outer?"

[weirdwilbur.livejournal.com]

"Nawt human. The sort thet yew only larn about from readin' black texts. A lord o' madness.

"'Un o' the thin's man warn't meant tew know."

[piesordeath.livejournal.com]

"Oh."

Scary.

Ned might look vaguely uncomfortable with that notion.

"Well, I can say with a great amount of certainty that I haven't been reading any black texts as of late."

[weirdwilbur.livejournal.com]

"Good, most o' them drive humans crazy.

"I mean, really. Thar's no other explaination fer Grandad decidin' thet a shapeless demonic entity would be a good son-en-law."

[piesordeath.livejournal.com]

Well, if they do drive people crazy, he certainly wouldn't be surprised. They are black texts, after all. And as far as he understands, black texts tend to mean things like seriously evil books.

"Yeah ... most grandfathers prefer polite, respectable - uh. Entities."

[weirdwilbur.livejournal.com]

He laughs. "Most people dun't even know thet they exist.

"Hell, even Thar names can't be pronounced by normal people."

[piesordeath.livejournal.com]

"I guess that's for the best? If they're beings that can only be found in black texts, that is," he says.

[weirdwilbur.livejournal.com]

"True enough.

"Made my life thet much more difficult, though."

[piesordeath.livejournal.com]

"Oh?"

[weirdwilbur.livejournal.com]

"Well, most people aren't used ter some'un thet's nine feet tawll an' whatnot."

[piesordeath.livejournal.com]

"... good point," he says.

"What about in your world?"

[weirdwilbur.livejournal.com]

"Most people still dun't understand, an' the ones thet dew . . . that a little crazy."

[piesordeath.livejournal.com]

"Ah."

So it's a bit of a lose-lose situation in some ways.

Ned makes a :\ face.

[weirdwilbur.livejournal.com]

For everyone involved!

"Shame, I know."

[piesordeath.livejournal.com]

"Well, there must be some upsides to being who and what you are," he says, opting to be - well, optimistic about it.

[weirdwilbur.livejournal.com]

"I can understand advanced quantum physics, I know plenty o' spells, I can speak languages unknown tew man.

"And I can scare people. Trust me, bein' able tew make idjits run away is great."

[piesordeath.livejournal.com]

He raises his eyebrows.

"All right," he says. "There you go. So it's not all bad."