milliways_bar | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Mirai has close to her normal level of self-esteem and functionality back, enough of it to go down to the bar by herself. It's ultimately not much of a change from what she was doing in her room. She tucks herself in a secluded booth, buries herself in a blanket, and picks at a plate of nachos.

Bringing more nachos would be nice.

[ooc: Warning for discussion of suicidal ideation in the threads.]

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Mirai shrugs again.

"I don't mind if you want to sit with me. But fair warning, I might just stay sad."

He sits and nods, looking down at his hands. "I'm sad too so we can be sad together if you like."

She sits up a little.

"You're sad, too?"

He nods, still looking at his hands. "I still can't turn back into a raven."

She frowns deeper, glancing to his hands before looking to his face again.

"I'm sorry about that, Diaval-san. You can come sit and be sad with me."

Maybe they just both need to be sad for a bit.

He sits with her, curled up a little in the booth. "May I ask why you're sad?"

She shrugs.

"I was arguing like a week ago. About being unpleasant and about how I have trouble with nice things."

"Who were you arguing with?"

"The Fool, and I guess Autor-senpai. They were talking about whether I was good enough or not unpleasant, and it... I don't even know why it was so frustrating to me, but I went to my room afterward and stayed there for most of the week."

Diaval looks confused. "But you are very nice and not at all unpleasant. It was rude of them to talk like that."

"B-but that's just it," she says. "Even though you say that, even though others here think that's true, I have trouble believing it."

"That is a good reason to be sad." He acknowledges. "Because other people think things you do not."

She nods a little.

"It'd be nice to understand it, even a little."

It's much easier to understand food, and she pulls another nacho from her plate.

"Ah, ravens like meat, right Diaval-san? There's some in my food if you'd like some."

"There's still so much I don't understand yet. But I'm trying to learn."

He smiles and nods. "Ravens like lots of different foods but meat best of all." He leans over to sniff at the nachos. "That smells good. What is it called?"

"Nachos. They're corn chips with cheese, meat, and vegetables."

"That sounds very good. Thank you." He tries a little bit cautiously. Then liking the flavour takes a bigger bite. "Yum!"

She smiles a little bit at that.

"You know, I once asked Autor-senpai if food was enough. Like, I know it doesn't fix anything besides being hungry, but is that enough sometimes? Maybe he's right about that being okay."

"It's easier to think about bigger things when you're not hungry. I use to never be able to think at all during winter."

"How do you protect yourself during the winter?"

"Not very well. I got caught by the farmer in winter. I was so hungry I didn't think to check where the farmer and his dogs were and they caught me with a net."

Trapped. She nods at this.

"And now?"

"Now it is different. I am here where there is always food and warmth. And even with my mistress, it is not so cold or so bad. She makes sure there is food enough for everyone. I think now I think too much!"

And now that gets her wondering what humans do to keep themselves from thinking too much. The common culprits come to mind, but all seem rather overwhelming for a raven in the shape of a man. And then she remembers...

"Diaval-san, have you ever thought of doing something else when you have too much to think about? Like, maybe you could try looking at comic books when you're thinking too much?"

"That's a good idea. I like the comic books I found in the library very much. Is that what you do? When your thoughts get too big?"

"Sort of," she says with a shrug. "I have a smartphone, and I can use that to play games or write, whatever I like to take my mind off of things."