milliways_bar | (no subject)

"Someone out there thought you didn't deserve it. That's why you're here."

He shakes his head.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, this is none of my business. We can talk about something else."

He fidgets.

"I'm sorry."

He looks at Richard and frowns.

"I'm sorry. I've made you uncomfortable."

"It's not your fault. I'm the one who asks too many questions."

He pours more tea for them both.

"You can ask me about anything you like."

"I don't know very much about you. Would you tell me about yourself?"

"Of course. I was born in Scotland, and I lived there most of my life. Da died when I was six, and Aunt Maud came to live with us. I got a job in Securities when I was twenty-two and I moved to London. Mum died shortly after I moved. Met Gary there, and eventually met Jessica. Fell in love, and got engaged. And was pretty happy with all of that until I was twenty-six."

"And then Fate decided to be a bitch with you, right?"

He laughs, slightly broken, but still a laugh.

"Exactly. She's got a quirky sense of humor."

Alex laughs quietly. The laugh Nick hates.

"Fate's a funny girl."

"You're not kidding. Everything I knew was wrong."

"Now you're sad. I'm sorry. I shouldn't make people sad."

"You didn't make me sad, life did all of that, and it was well worth it in the end to wind up here."

"Mmm. This is a nice place. It's awfully small for forever, though."

He looks at the exit door, tilting his head.

"I wonder what would happen if I opened the door. What I'd see. I've only ever tried twice, back at the beginning."

"Well, you can get out with Nick, can't you?"

He shrugs.

"Only one way to find out. But do you want to find out?"

"I can go to Toronto with Nick."

He's still looking consideringly at the door.

"It might be interesting to see if they still want me back."

"Um....Alex, I think I speak for most of us here when I say that we don't want them to take you back."

"I wouldn't go through. I promised Nick I'd be wherever he was. But the other two times I saw back there, and I knew they wanted me back. I wonder..."

"Would they try to pull you through?"

"I don't know. They didn't the other times."

He's still looking at the door.

"Well...I suppose it's your right to try it."

He looks very apprehensive.

Alex stands up and walks over to the door.

Richard might not be at the right angle to see what Alex sees when he opens it. Whatever it is, he tilts his head and looks for a few moments, then closes the door and goes back to the booth.

And laughs.

He wasn't.

"Well....what did you see?"

Another laugh, long and low and slightly hysterical.

"They're still waiting."

"Jesus, Alex, I'm sorry."

He looks closely at him.

"Are you going to be all right?"

He keeps laughing.

"Guess I haven't paid enough yet."

He shakes his head.

"That's not mine to say."

He reaches out a hand, but pulls it back. He doesn't know Alex well enough for that yet.

"Can I get you anything?"