Entrance post

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

...and there's a sizzle, a flash, a streak of octarine light--

--and a massive orangutan flies through one of the doors, bouncing head over heels, skidding and tumbling and thudding into the Bar just a few yards away.


He gets up, still wobbly after a few moments, and balances. He pats himself carefully down, makes a 'blbbblb' sound with floppy lips as he shakes his head, puffs out his chest, and beams complacently at the world.

Then the grin freezes, and falters.


"Oook?"

Comments

[timsbooks.livejournal.com]

"Ape boy!"

Tim hops up from his seat, a grin across his face.

"Long time no see big guy."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

"Oook?" The Librarian looks around, blinks, and grins. Hugely. If you've never seen an orangutan grin... well, you won't forget it.

"Oook!"

[timsbooks.livejournal.com]

"Why yes, it has been a while."

A faint shrug.

"I'm just glad to see you're okay."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

"Oook," the Librarian agrees, giving him a keen look. "Ook?"

[timsbooks.livejournal.com]

"Er..."

Tim waggles a finger in his ear, waking up the babelfish.

"Try again?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

"Oook?" the Librarian repeats patiently, motioning to Tim.

[timsbooks.livejournal.com]

"Ah, well, thangs have been busy here."

He shakes his head.

"Lots of bad stuff, lots of good stuff. Had I died last time you were here?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

The Librarian scrunches his nose, thinking, and shakes his head. "Oook."

"...ook?!?"

[timsbooks.livejournal.com]

"I got better. Twice."

Tim winks.

"There was a whole mess with an alternate me, I died, came back as a god, he came back in my body, I killed him and took my boidy back.... This place has changed. Oh yeh. I'm not on security anymore. Made some mistakes."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

"Oook," the Librarian says sympathetically, pulling a face. "Oook--"

The pen and paper have arrived, and he pulls up a sheet to write: And your wife? She's well, I hope?

[timsbooks.livejournal.com]

Tim winces.

"She left me."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

The Librarian winces. And taps the bar lightly, and orders Tim a very, very tall drink of scumble.

[timsbooks.livejournal.com]

Tim waves it off.

"I already did my drinking. But thank you for the offer."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

The Librarian makes a sympathetic noise, reaches for the paper. Any time, you know, really...

Underneath, as if an afterthought: You haven't been to the Mended Drum yet. You promised, you know.

[timsbooks.livejournal.com]

"I do remember."

A slight shrug.

"Haven't really had a chance."

[gone_byebye]

Ray glances up at the sight of the bouncing newcomer and sighs. Well, at least it's not another dinosaur...

He sets his tray aside and heads over towards the orang, crouching to a reasonable height when he gets near enough. "Welcome to Milliways," he says in English- and then, just in case and because he is from Earth, repeats it in sign language. "I take it you're new here?"

He'll be repeating everything in sign until he gets an indication that this is not a good idea, really.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

"Oook," replies the Librarian fervently, patting his head gingerly with one hand as he gives Ray a bewildered--intelligently, thoughtfully bewildered--look.

[gone_byebye]

"Ah, right. Well- welcome to Milliways." Ray points towards the Observation Window. "We're at the End of the Universe. Don't worry- your world is right on the other side of the door you came in from."

Probably, anyway.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

Hopefully.

The Librarian nods, and extends his hand in the manner of a tourist who's just stepped off the cruise ship. "Oook?"

[gone_byebye]

Ray accepts the hand for the shaking, as that's what he supposes it's being offered for. "My name's Ray Stantz. Most people just call me Ray. I don't work here, I'm just a patron. The first drink's free, for what that's worth, and the Bar can make pretty much anything you can ask for. They do ask that all the patrons, humanoid and otherwise, obey the basic rules- no violence in the bar, no old business, and no sex or nudity in public. I think they make exceptions for orangutans, though. Considering."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

The Librarian has the decency to look a little embarrassed at that. "Oook."

Not for long, though. He hops up onto a stool, balances as it sways slightly, and taps the Bar inquiringly. "Oook?"

[gone_byebye]

"Oh, you can run up a tab if you haven't got coinage on you," Ray says cheerfully. "Just ask for whatever it is you want- although if she doesn't understand the spoken word I'm pretty sure she can accept requests in any written language."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

"Oook..."

And a pint of scumble appears. Just like magic.

The Librarian turns big eyes on Ray. "Oook!?"

[gone_byebye]

"Magic, I'm afraid," Ray says. "I haven't been able to find any evidence of technological or scientific means of producing it-"

He sniffs the suddenly aromatic air.

"... is that stuff made from apples?"

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

The Librarian, if an orangutan could be said to laugh, is laughing. A pen and paper have produced themselves as well, and he writes diligently:

The Bar has expanded its repetoire, I see!

Have you ever tried scumble, Ray Stanz?

The writing, perfectly neat and legible, has that faint, musty air of an old library about it.

[ooc: Look, it's Mun smacking herself upside the head and her now-feverish attempt to reconcile Tim seeing the Librarian in the bar before with Ray's conversation... I'm dumbheaded. Oook. ;)]

[gone_byebye]

Ray leans over to have a look. "No," he says, "but I've heard it described before. From a young lady from Lancre. Isn't that the stuff that has to be served in glass because of what it does to metal?"

[OOC: No worries. I was gonna assume there was some millitime involved or something.]

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

The Librarian's grin stretches wider. The wizards from Unseen University would take one look at his expression and run very fast and very far--especially one assistant librarian, Rincewind by name--but Ray is as of yet completely innocent.

For now.

Oh, it's not all that bad, really...

[ooc: Er... yes. Yes, of course that's it. What I meant all along, really. *cough* ^__^]

[gone_byebye]

Ray has never met the Librarian before, no.

Ray has been to the Bronx Zoo. And Ray has read about an orangutan at the Chicago Zoo who is currently the only nonhuman member of the American Locksmithing Association, because he keeps stealing stuff from his human visitors and taking his enclosure lock apart with it.

"She tried to get me to drink that stuff," he says conversationally. "I lost all the feeling in my tongue."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

The Librarian would probably get along famously with Ray's orangutan, but at the moment he looks slightly crestfallen. "Oook."

He raises the frothing mug in front of him, shrugs, toasts Ray with a dry "Oook", and drinks it all down.

Sets the empty mug back down, wipes his mouth, and says a polite "Ook" to the Bar, before beaming innocently at Ray.

[gone_byebye]

Ray, for his part, touches the Bar lightly. "The usual, please?"

The usual is dark green, fizzy, faintly opalescent, and gives the impression of sluggishly moving.

"This stuff's not too bad itself, you know," he says. "Want some?"

Two can play at this game.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

The Librarian gives a suspicious look, prods it with the tip of his finger. "Ooook..."

But there might as well have been a "Drink me" sign on it, for the Librarian shoots Ray a triumphant glance and lifts the glass, taking a long gulp.

A really long gulp.

And now half the glass is gone.

Is the Librarian supposed to be... seeing anything?

[gone_byebye]

Not really. On the other hand, it's almost certainly his first exposure to artificial colourings and flavourings, and some people just don't take being smacked in the nose with the full force of modern chemistry very well.

Oh, and it's non-toxic, and non-alcoholic, and contains quite a number of non-caffeine stimulants, so this might be the point when Ray ought to hide under a chair or something.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

The Librarian stops. Looks slightly bemused, inspects the glass closely, sloshes it from side to side.

Then, with a faint "oOOooOok", topples to the ground.

[gone_byebye]

"... oh hell."

Ray hops down from his stool and looks around rapidly.

"Uh, is there anyone here who practices orangutan medicine? Or generic healing?"

And how the hell do I take the pulse on an orangutan?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

The Librarian opens one eye, squinting into the light. "Oook? OooOOOooK? Oookookook?"

Ray, what exactly was in the drink you gave him...?

[gone_byebye]

"I have no idea! I bought that from Bar a while ago and I always liked it- it's totally harmless to humans, I asked it for something completely artificial and non-toxic and non-alcoholic and ... oh, dear, it's just occurred to me that on the Disc that's the equivalent of asking for 'something the Alchemists made', isn't it..."

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

Well, yeah. I mean, really.

The Librarian slowly totters to his feet, eyes crossing, weaving unsteadily. "Ooooooooooooo...k."

[ooc: Must beg slowtime, it's two in the morning :-o ]

[gone_byebye]

"Yeah, tell you what, why don't I help you to one of these couches, you can sack out there for a while. Oh, man. I'm just- I'll- your next couple bananas are on me, okay? I'm sorry-"

he's going to be apologizing for a while.

[OOC: Not a problem. Sleep well!]

[femme-wizard.livejournal.com]

[OOC: I think I love you. Quick! Go join disc_ways!]

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

[ooc: Off right now!

And I've got Susan Sto Helit coming into the bar in a few minutes... ;)]

[no_justice]

[...well. Guess who else I play?]

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

[ooc: *ahem* WOOOOT! *runs, not walks, to get Susan in the bar*]

[watcher-g-man.livejournal.com]

(ooc: *FANGIRLS LIEK WO* YES!!!! *dances with glee* Wuv the Librarian. I'm off to bed myself but Giles and him? Soooo have to meet! Heeee... Librarians unite, they can converse about L-space. *G* ...oh and tempted to have either Venkman or Draco run into him just to find out the hard way not to say the m-word around him. *evil grin*)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

[ooc: *snoogs* Do a post in the bar soon, so the Librarian can tag! :D]

[oneman_onevote]

[OOC: Wheee! Librarian!]

[http://users.livejournal.com/_ook_/]

[ooc: Vetinari for President, 2008!]