Entrance post

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...and there's a sizzle, a flash, a streak of octarine light--

--and a massive orangutan flies through one of the doors, bouncing head over heels, skidding and tumbling and thudding into the Bar just a few yards away.


He gets up, still wobbly after a few moments, and balances. He pats himself carefully down, makes a 'blbbblb' sound with floppy lips as he shakes his head, puffs out his chest, and beams complacently at the world.

Then the grin freezes, and falters.


"Oook?"

Comments

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Ray leans over to have a look. "No," he says, "but I've heard it described before. From a young lady from Lancre. Isn't that the stuff that has to be served in glass because of what it does to metal?"

[OOC: No worries. I was gonna assume there was some millitime involved or something.]

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The Librarian's grin stretches wider. The wizards from Unseen University would take one look at his expression and run very fast and very far--especially one assistant librarian, Rincewind by name--but Ray is as of yet completely innocent.

For now.

Oh, it's not all that bad, really...

[ooc: Er... yes. Yes, of course that's it. What I meant all along, really. *cough* ^__^]

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Ray has never met the Librarian before, no.

Ray has been to the Bronx Zoo. And Ray has read about an orangutan at the Chicago Zoo who is currently the only nonhuman member of the American Locksmithing Association, because he keeps stealing stuff from his human visitors and taking his enclosure lock apart with it.

"She tried to get me to drink that stuff," he says conversationally. "I lost all the feeling in my tongue."

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The Librarian would probably get along famously with Ray's orangutan, but at the moment he looks slightly crestfallen. "Oook."

He raises the frothing mug in front of him, shrugs, toasts Ray with a dry "Oook", and drinks it all down.

Sets the empty mug back down, wipes his mouth, and says a polite "Ook" to the Bar, before beaming innocently at Ray.

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Ray, for his part, touches the Bar lightly. "The usual, please?"

The usual is dark green, fizzy, faintly opalescent, and gives the impression of sluggishly moving.

"This stuff's not too bad itself, you know," he says. "Want some?"

Two can play at this game.

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The Librarian gives a suspicious look, prods it with the tip of his finger. "Ooook..."

But there might as well have been a "Drink me" sign on it, for the Librarian shoots Ray a triumphant glance and lifts the glass, taking a long gulp.

A really long gulp.

And now half the glass is gone.

Is the Librarian supposed to be... seeing anything?

[gone_byebye]

Not really. On the other hand, it's almost certainly his first exposure to artificial colourings and flavourings, and some people just don't take being smacked in the nose with the full force of modern chemistry very well.

Oh, and it's non-toxic, and non-alcoholic, and contains quite a number of non-caffeine stimulants, so this might be the point when Ray ought to hide under a chair or something.

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The Librarian stops. Looks slightly bemused, inspects the glass closely, sloshes it from side to side.

Then, with a faint "oOOooOok", topples to the ground.

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"... oh hell."

Ray hops down from his stool and looks around rapidly.

"Uh, is there anyone here who practices orangutan medicine? Or generic healing?"

And how the hell do I take the pulse on an orangutan?

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The Librarian opens one eye, squinting into the light. "Oook? OooOOOooK? Oookookook?"

Ray, what exactly was in the drink you gave him...?

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"I have no idea! I bought that from Bar a while ago and I always liked it- it's totally harmless to humans, I asked it for something completely artificial and non-toxic and non-alcoholic and ... oh, dear, it's just occurred to me that on the Disc that's the equivalent of asking for 'something the Alchemists made', isn't it..."

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Well, yeah. I mean, really.

The Librarian slowly totters to his feet, eyes crossing, weaving unsteadily. "Ooooooooooooo...k."

[ooc: Must beg slowtime, it's two in the morning :-o ]

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"Yeah, tell you what, why don't I help you to one of these couches, you can sack out there for a while. Oh, man. I'm just- I'll- your next couple bananas are on me, okay? I'm sorry-"

he's going to be apologizing for a while.

[OOC: Not a problem. Sleep well!]