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*Normally Raph doesn't pick up Saturday night shifts, but considering that he has no where else to go now that his rooftop abode has gone all blue-screeny, he's here.

He's here, and he doesn't look all that happy about it.
If you're a kangaroo in boxing gloves, beware.
Actually, even if you aren't it's probably best to tread carefully.*

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Maybe you won't have to tread quite so carefully in a bit. Last night, Foxtrot X-ray hit Hannibal Lecter (http://community.livejournal.com/milliways_bar/13301854.html) with a balloon full of Good Mood Slime. In his haste to have fun with his handywork, he left the other balloon in the rafters and promptly forgot about it.

Now Raph is walking directly under it when something (Seismic activity? Weird energy flows? Dark Gods of Comedy?) causes it to roll off of its perch.

SPLAT!

And our grumpy Security officer is baptized in bright, pink slime!

*Raph is now drippings wit' goo.*

Muthafuck!

*He wipes a hand across his forehead, in an attempt to see what exactly it is that's not glopping on his head, as well as to keep the mysterious substance out of his eyes.

Raph doesn't know what it is, but it sure as hell burns. He looks up to see if he can spy what fucktard is responsible, but all he gets is a big whiff of what he believes is strawberry.*

Oooh, icecream topping!

*Yes, Raph believes his head is now covered in a tasty treat.*

Yes...the slime is tasty! It's color, texture and delightful odor beg for you to eat it!

Raph's in for one hell of a night.

Lilly's on her way to the bar for a refill when she spots Raph. Pink, gooey Raph.

"Uh... you okay there?"

Yeah...it's tasty.

*He extends a pink gloopy hand towards Lilly. Sharing is caring.*

Lilly takes a step back. Sharing booze is caring. Sharing bizarre pink goo is creepy and wrong.

"You know, I think I'm good on pink goo for the day. It's all yours... whatever it is."

Strawberry.

*He says with apparent glee.*

Lilly narrows her eyes, taking a half-step closer to study the goop.

"Strawberry what?"

It's Milliways. This could be strawberry-flavored dinosaur snot or spinal nectar or anything.

Pink.

*Mmm. DEEE-Licious!*

Oh, this is not getting any less confusing.

"Are you drunk?"

*He studies his hand for a few seconds, and wow is that hand distracting.*

Huh? What? Nahh. I don't get drunk.

*Duhhh!*

"Oh, see, I know that's not true," Lilly says, giggling. "I haven't forgotten the launch party even if you have."

She's still eyeing the pink goop.

"So. This stuff is alcoholic, huh?"

*He shrugs in a comic impression of an actual shrug. It's like...an anime shrug.*

Know it's tasty though.

*Is that a happy sight? By glod I think it is.*

It's unnerving as hell coming from Raph. Lilly's still eyeing him.

"Okay, where did you obtain this possibly alcoholic, probably psychedelic slime?"

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Well, well, well.

"You look surprisingly happy, mon ami. You hate pink."

Fleur's got a basketball for a belly and a little black dress. Yeah, she's one hot mama.

Holy crap! Fleur!

*He walks towards her with arms wide open.
Someone wants a hug.*

She puts a hand on his forehead and KEEPS THAT PINK SHIT AWAY FROM HER. This is specialty made Armani, Raph-- awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, Raph hugs. They're like butter and butterflies and cute little bunnies.

Yeah, okay. Fuck the dress. She wraps her arms around his neck and giggles. "'ello."

hi.
you're warm.

"Iz because I have two people in my belly. Why iz there pink stuff on your head and dripping on me?" She's giggling because he's squeezing!

Two?! Like...at the same time?

*Raph pulls away to get a better look at THE BELLY OF THE TWINS!*

That's wild.

*Then without asking, he puts both hands on her belly.*

strawberry stuff fell from the sky....

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It's the only way to properly describe her reaction. And she lets out a deep sigh and reminds herself to make Raph buy her a new dress when he isn't covered in pink-strawberry-slime-whatever-it-is stuff. So she pats his hands and smiles anyway. 'Cause it's Raph.

"Oui. Iz two. 'usband haz very strong sperm."

wow i so did not need to know that.

*He says with a grin to his voice.*

When do they hatch?

"No egg for me!" HA, TAKE THAT GRANDMA! "Iz. Um. Later."

"What? You don't want to know about Bill'z mighty sperm? Iz always huge amountz. Wonderful man!"

because my own is scary enough, i don't need no one elses.

*Dear lord, did he just say that outloud? What the hell has happened to his inner monologue? THE SLIME HAS ATE IT! ONOES!*

Fleur-- she's shocked. RAPH, YOU HAVE SHOCKED HER. Mouth just hanging open there.