milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Serenity's got about another 32 hours before they hit Ezra.

The waiting before a job is usually the worst part, and today Mal is feeling it more so than others. He's checking in with the bar when he receives an eyepatch and a watergun the likes of which he hasn't seen since that ridiculous Assassin game in April.

There's a smirk when he shoves the eyepatch into his pocket, hopping behind the bar and scrawling out a sign before asking Bar for a 3' by 5' cloth.

Mal walks out the door to the lake, damn near whistling.

[ooc: I'm on gchat for any coordinating that might want to happen. Uh. It's not a huge boat, but it'll do. I'll put up an organizing post somewhere if this gets people involved.

ETA: This thread is for any arrivals if you are participating in shenanigans.

ETA AGAIN: OOC COMMUNICATIONS.

And it continues: The Battle Thread. Onlookers welcome.

And food for the spectators. And the winner, obviously.]

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Ianto snorts. "I don't kid myself I'm Superman. I'm just part of a long tradition.

"But I'll keep that in mind. Right now I don't mind going home."

Home.
Now there's a word that hasn't meant New York for Mike in a good long while.
He sighs, not unpleasantly.

"Yeah, I have to say that's a good deal of charm that goes with that notion."

"It all depends on what you have to go back to, innit. What's the line--'home is where you go when they have to take you in'?"

Mike covers the bake so the food remains warm and then returns to his spot by the palm tree.

"Let's see, what would I be going back to. Donnie's probably always in his lab. Leo's always in the dojo. Splinter is off watching his stories or meditating. I...can't go out in the day time because it'll make people scream, and....I'll be bored out of my skull for large swaths of time.

Yeah...here's better."

"God, yes," Ianto says with a little wince of sympathy.

"At home I have a job that demands me pretty much twenty-four seven, co-workers who descend from decent to irritating, no family, few friends, and a boss who I think wants to sleep with me but I'm not sure enough to do anything about it.

"And yet."

"It's because they keep you busy.

...

And the potential for being chased around the desk doesn't hurt either."

"No, I don't think I'd mind that bit so much."

"They're cute then, I take it. Why do I have the feeling I've had this conversation with you before?"

"Very cute."

He puzzles at Mike a moment. "You know . . . we may have. Mostly I remember talking about brownies and turtles, though."

His eyes widen.

"Brownies. Yeah, that'd do it. You know, they don't call that stuff Dope for nothing."

"I enjoyed being that relaxed, though. It's been a while."

"It's not a bad way to go through life, that's for sure. Wouldn't suggest it for the long term though. Next thing you know you're out in the middle of the forest planting seeds and eating peanutbutter with a miniphant and a talking wolf as your only company."

Oh Milliways...

"I promised my boss it wouldn't happen again," Ianto says with a shrug that says That's the end of it.

"What's a miniphant?"

"Dude, you NARC'd yourself?"

Mike gives him a slow pitying head shake of disappointment. Right before he sticks two fingers in his mouth and whistles....loud.

So loud that one might expect a Yellow Cab to show up out of no where.
Instead what arrives is bouncing grey blur of a tiny elephant no bigger than a house cat.

"My door usually opens to where I work," Ianto says, "and he, uh, caught me. Made me stay the night so I wouldn't hurt myself."

Ianto does not squee at the sight of the miniphant as he is not a teenaged girl.

But he does smile a lot more widely than he has been earlier and say, "Good lord, look at that."

"Man if I'd have known that I totally wouldn't have let you go home! You'd have been like, sacked out on my couch with a pint of Hagen Das until your eyes cleared up.

I hope we have both learned a very valuable lesson."

He turns to the miniphant, who has yet to stop moving. Her tail is still a blur and her bottom moves with a puppy's exuberance.

"Have you learned a valuable lesson, Stampy?"

She trumpets loudly with her bicycle horn-sounding call.

"Hullo, Stampy," Ianto says and holds out his hand, palm-up, like he's meeting an unfamiliar dog.

"It could have been worse--Jack's management style is . . . let's call it 'unconventional.'"

"Spankings?"

Asks Mike with as much innocence as he can muster.
Which, admittedly, isn't a whole lot.

Stampy snuffles her way over towards Ianto before trumpeting her own greeting.

"And then the oral sex," Ianto says, straight-faced, and gently scratches the miniphant's bristly head.

"And you say you're unsure of whether or not he wants to sleep with you?"

Ianto has food.
Stampy likes food.
It doesn't matter that it's food Stampy doesn't actually have any interest in eating.

"That's a joke, Mike.

"Can she have--well, any of this?"

"I totally knew that."

Says the guy who totally didn't.

"Um....probably not? That much butter'd likely make her heart explode. Probably make your heart explode too, now that I think on it. Anyway, chances are good she just wants to smell it so she can decide for herself that she doesn't want it. Stampy! Stand down!"

Stampy totally doesn't get that either.

"Monty Python's Holy Grain--the castle Anthrax with the Grail-shaped beacon. You have to have seen that."

He snorts a little. "My heart would have exploded from all the coffee if it were going to explode." He offers a lime wedge to Stampy, which is much more her speed, he hopes.

Stampy snuffles a bit too closely to the lime and gets a trunk full of citrus.

Ever seen a mini-phant sneeze?
Now's your chance.

Mike's eyes light up with recognition.

"OH! DUDE! How could I have missed that? Oh wait, no I know how. I'm stuck in a place where no one ever gets my references. That's how.

Odaiji ni."

He adds after Stampy's sneeze.

"All right, no lime," Ianto says, and puts the sneezed-upon citrus in the little pile of crabs' legs and mussel shells at his side.

"How obscure are your references? Because I've always thought Monty Python is one of those 'everybody knows it' things."

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