milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Chandler's always known that eventually, he'd get caught. You can only skive off of work to go to a bar so many times before someone notices. He'd just never expected that someone to be the Bar.

He's being put to work, because he keeps ditching work. That's the way he sees it. He's never tended a bar. He's never even waited tables. He's had one job his entire life, and that was statistical anayalsys and data reconfiguration. Still, he goes behind the Bar, and fumbles around, trying to figure out what it is he's meant to be doing. Eventually, he comes up with a plan.

Happy Hour
Apologies in advance for the new guy

SPECIALS

Rum and Coke/Rum and Diet Coke
Chocolate Milk
Coffee

And that exhausts the list of things he can make on his own. Grabbing a Yoo-hoo for himself, he sits back and waits for something to happen.

Fake!Tag: Chandler Bing

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"What? No, I'm fine," Chandler assures.

He reaches for his bottle of Yoo-hoo, and knocks it to the ground.

"Uhh..."

Yeah, he'd better clean that up. He snatches up a nearby towel and set at it.

He puts his glass down and half-considers helping him.

Only, he isn't sure how to get to the other side of the counter anyway.

So, he'll just settle for being an unhelpful brat.

Sorry, Chandler.

"I don't really believe you."

Chandler looks up at the kid. "I didn't say anything," he insists.

Unless you count "uhh," but what's to believe or not believe about that?

It's more the constant 'I'm fine' bits that Nico is finding difficult to believe.

But he lets it go with a shrug.

"You don't usually do this, do you?" He gestures to the bar and the glasses and bottles of alcohol lined up along the wall.

"Because when I first came here, I learned that the Bar was a ... well, you could get things from ... her."

"No, this is my first time," Chandler says. He nods to the specials board -- specifically the bit about being the New Guy.

"I don't know why they need people to do this. Something about someone needing to sleep."

He totally doesn't get it at all.

Well, that's something they have in common!

Because Nico doesn't get it either.

"Who needs to sleep? The Bar?" He sounds incredulous.

"Maybe?"

Chandler stands up from cleaning up his mess and fetches another Yoo-hoo.

He glances at the wooden bartop and frowns.

"Bars sleep?"

"I've been told it's possessed or something," Chandler says.

"Possessed?"

He looks doubtful.

"I was told she's - uh. Sentient. And that she talks to you through napkins sometimes."

Chandler passes over the napkin he got that told him to run things for a few hours.

"You mean like that?" he asks.

He's never actually seen a bar-written note before.

So when he glances at the napkin, reading the brief note, he nods dumbly.

"Yeah," he says, quickly regaining his composure. "Just like that."

It's the first one Chandler's ever seen, too.

"Yeah, sure took me by surprise," he says.

Interesting!

"So ... you haven't been here long either?"

"I'm not sure how long it's been here," Chandler says. "But about a month and a half back home."

"Longer than me," he remarks. "This is only my second time here."

Chandler knows there's some sort of something you're supposed to tell the new people, but he's still trying to figure it all out, himself.

"Liking it so far?" he settles on.

He shrugs.

"I'm still getting used to it," he admits. "But ... I could think of worse places to be."

"Oh, yeah," Chandler agrees. "So could I. It was weird at first, but you get used to it."

"I guess. Well, used to it enough to like it, anyway."

Not that he's reached that point exactly. Yet.

"It can be fun," Chandler says. "You get to meet all sorts of people around here. Most of them are pretty cool."

Some are absolutely nuts, though.

"So far I've had some luck with nice people," he says in agreement.

"Though I was warned about someone called Blodwen."

"Haven't met him yet," Chandler says. He seems relieved about that.

"You might also want to watch out for..." he realises that in all the time he's been harassed by the guy, he hasn't actually found out his name "... this big, Scottish psychopath. Blond hair, really creepy."

Edited 2010-02-17 00:59 (UTC)

"I think Blodwen's a woman," he corrects. "Apparently she can control you if you give her your full name."

And as for that Scottish guy? He nods.

"I'll look out for him too."

"Do you mean just first and last, or your embarrassing middle name, too?" Chandler asks.