milliways_bar | (no subject)

"Ok."

"Here's a harder question, but I have to ask it, Carlotta: do have reasons to think he wants to get better? Enough that he might talk to me about it?"

Carlotta is quiet for a moment.

"I think he wants to get better. I'm less sure he thinks he deserves to. Reasons... well, we have a seventeen month old daughter. He also has a son who's about two, but we lost custody and he's not been able to see him.

He's better than he was since he stopped drinking, and he's working at the stables most of the week at the moment, joining me and Molly - our daughter - from Sunday to Tuesday. He said he didn't want me losing the circus, and the business could go under without some serious input."

She runs a hand through her hair. "He agreed to see a psychiatrist before, but that one told him to 'get a grip'."

Malcolm clears his throat in annoyance. "Not much help, was it?"

"If he's not drinking, that does help. And having a job he likes is a good sign too."

"If that other 'doctor' hasn't turned him off of psychiatry, I can try to do what I can. I can talk to him, at least. See if he's open to the idea."

"No it wasn't, and he only kept going because the other 'doctor' told him he'd get locked up if he didn't."

She nods. "Will loves horses. And I think he'd be prepared to talk to you, if you won't be offended if he's a bit... distrusting."

She looks down. "I've known Will a long time and... I believe he's still in there, just there's a lot of other stuff going on in his head. He's a gentle man and his conscience is tormenting him."

Malcolm smiles. "Don't worry about that. It's the patients who trust me too much from the start that I tend to worry about."

"Should I look for him in the stables, or would that be stepping into his territory? The bar can be more neutral sometimes."

"He doesn't come here, I mean stables at home." Carlotta says. "But at the moment it's Sunday so he's at the circus with me."

"Oh, I see." Malcolm smiles. "So he's actually looking after horses, and not whatever we have out out back of the bar these days."

"Will loves horses." Carlotta says, nodding. "That's how we met - his family's stables are near the boarding school I went to. He can tame a wild beast to be soft as a kitten."

She hesitates and asks. "Would you be able to come and talk to him now please? The portal back is reliable."

"Ummm....," Malcolm thinks for a moment, obviously a little surprised by the request. But then, "Sure, I can do that."

He eyes the rest of his scotch and decides finishing it probably wouldn't be the best way to start a workday, so he asks Bar for a coffee to go, and then slides off his seat with a smile and coffee to go in hand.

"Lead the way."

"Thank you." Carlotta leads him towards the door.

"I'm sorry to be so much trouble." she says, embarrassed by his surprise, but leading him through.

It's a warm spring night, and as they step out between two caravans, there's the smell of a crackling bonfires. Someone seems to be cooking sausages on one of them. A ragged little girl of about four with bare feet skips past them.

"Hallo Ringmaster!"

Carlotta greets the little girl, then leads Malcolm on to where her caravan is.

A blonde toddler girl is playing barefoot in the grass with a monkey, while a young man in his early twenties sits smoking on the caravan stairs. When he sees Carlotta, he hurriedly extinguishes the cigarette.

"Rinmatta!" Molly greets her mother, leaving the monkey and running over. Carlotta scoops her up in a hug.

"Dr Crowe, this is my daughter Molly, and my husband Will."

Will gets off the step to shake Malcolm's hand.

"Hi, Molly," Malcolm grins, then turns to Will and takes his hand.

"I'm Malcolm Crowe. Pleased to meet you."

The warmth in the air and the smell of food remind Malcolm of summer festivals, though this has more of a rural fair to it than he ever encountered back home in Philadelphia.

Molly giggles and twirls her golden curls around her finger.

Will gives Malcolm a firm military handshake, which doesn't quite hide his nervousness, or the slight tremor in his right hand as he withdraws it and puts it in his pocket.

"Will Francis. Nice to meet you too, Carlotta mentioned you."

"I'm going to put Molly to bed." Carlotta says. "Out of earshot, to give you guys some space."

Will nods. "Okay. Night Moll."

"Nini Will." Molly says, reaching towards him. He eventually notices and kisses her on the forehead.

"Knock on the door when you're done." Carlotta says to both of them, taking the little girl inside.

"All right." Will nods, slipping his hand into his pocket for the packet of cigarettes.

"Will..." Carlotta says, frowning. He puts them away again and sits down on a log as she goes inside, gesturing for Malcolm to join him.

"Not supposed to smoke in the middle of the camp." he says.

Edited 2013-04-16 21:26 (UTC)

Malcolm takes a spot on the log, trying to remember the last time he did that. Must have been a summer camp outside Philadelphia a long time ago.

"Danger of a fire if you do?" he asks casually.

Edited 2013-07-26 23:23 (UTC)

"Yeah, tents and dry grass." Will says. "Carlotta says if I do it it's hard to enforce among the others."

Malcolm nods and looks around. "How many of you are there?"

The smell of the sausages is amazing. And despite the strength of those bonfires, now Malcolm can see how carefully they've been set apart from the dry grass all around. He has a feeling if a stray spark got out, it wouldn't last long.

"Only fourteen at the moment, including me, and I'm only here two days a week." Will says. "We lost a lot of cast after last season."

He shifts uncomfortably, knowing that his own behaviour may have contributed to some of the departures.

Not wanting to rush Will (and maybe make him defensive), Malcolm sees if maybe the future might be a happier topic than the recent past.

"Fourteen doesn't sound bad, though. Do you still have time for new people to join in?"

Will shrugs.

"They probably won't. Carlotta is the only female Ringmaster in the circuit that we know of. Last season... well basically I came home drunk every night and caused a lot of trouble. We aren't supposed to be drunk on site either, because of the risk around animals and if we were to go on the equipment. Word gets around."

"Any trouble that couldn't be fixed?"

Will nods.

"I... I have an illegitimate son." he says. "From a drunken encounter during the war. His mother pretty much abandoned him and it was Carlotta who ended up taking him in. A bit later, she turned up and accused Carlotta of kidnap and all sorts of awful stuff, and we tried to keep custody. But because of my alcohol problems we lost custody."

"Sorry, Will. That must have been painful."

He lets a silence fall for a moment, but then:

"Sounds like your part in the war was pretty hard going. Not that it's ever easy, I guess."

Will fidgets. Okay, clearly Carlotta has sent this guy to help him talk about the war. But it's so hard to know where to begin.

"Carlotta saved lives during the war. About a thousand all things considered. She got a promotion and a medal after her discharge due to injury.

I killed people. I crashed my plane in her undercover area, blew her cover, and she got shot. And after I rescued her, and she went home, and we found out she was pregnant with Molly, I was flying over Germany murdering civilians."

"And let me guess: your commanders said it was all justified. Honor and duty, that sort of thing?"

Will nods.

"The soldiers used to call me 'Wet Willie'." he says, quietly. "Because..." He hesitates, then pulls out his right hand from his pocket, where he tends to put it when not using it, and shows Malcolm the visible tremor.

"It only goes away when I drink. When I got back here, I couldn't do my act any more, and I couldn't bear the people staring at me like they had when I walked through the streets of Germany, when they shouted at me and showed me... what we had done."

"You know, I've never been a soldier myself. So I'd never say I understand what you went through."

"But I have talked to a lot of soldiers in my time. And I don't think I've ever met one who didn't tell me at some point, 'It's the soldiers who aren't worried that are the ones to stay the hell away from.'"