milliways_bar | (no subject)

"Mmm. Especially at dawn and sunset. A beautiful dark green colour. I was ten the first time I saw it, when I was taken to Corus for training. I'd spent the first ten years of my life in Tirragen."

"Must have been rough having to move so young."

He shrugs.

"The oldest son of every noble family is sent to Corus to train as a knight. I knew it was expected of me."

"Well, that's not so bad, then. How long did you train as a knight?"

"Eight years. Four as a page, then when I was fourteen Duke Roger took me as his squire. Would-be knights have to face the Ordeal the midwinter after their eighteenth birthday."

"And then you were a full knight after that?"

Richard won't ask about Alex's Ordeal. Richard faced his own Ordeal already, and doesn't like to talk about it.

"Mmmhmm. Knight of the realm, all that. For five years, until I was twenty-three."

"What did you do after that?"

A soft laugh, the laugh Nick hates.

"Then I died and went to Hell."

"Oh, Jesus, I'm sorry. I never know when to stop asking."

Another soft laugh.

"Don't be sorry. It was a logical question. Half the bar would send me back for what happened with Meg and Anthy, anyway."

"Well, I don't know Meg or Anthy very well, but I would never send anyone to Hell. Not even my worst enemy."

And he wouldn't. He's seen it.

"The Black God's realm is supposed to be a pleasant place, for those he favours. Heroes and the like. Traitors like me get what they deserve."

He tilts his head, considering.

"I wonder if Roger has ever been there."

"Someone out there thought you didn't deserve it. That's why you're here."

He shakes his head.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, this is none of my business. We can talk about something else."

He fidgets.

"I'm sorry."

He looks at Richard and frowns.

"I'm sorry. I've made you uncomfortable."

"It's not your fault. I'm the one who asks too many questions."

He pours more tea for them both.

"You can ask me about anything you like."

"I don't know very much about you. Would you tell me about yourself?"

"Of course. I was born in Scotland, and I lived there most of my life. Da died when I was six, and Aunt Maud came to live with us. I got a job in Securities when I was twenty-two and I moved to London. Mum died shortly after I moved. Met Gary there, and eventually met Jessica. Fell in love, and got engaged. And was pretty happy with all of that until I was twenty-six."

"And then Fate decided to be a bitch with you, right?"

He laughs, slightly broken, but still a laugh.

"Exactly. She's got a quirky sense of humor."

Alex laughs quietly. The laugh Nick hates.

"Fate's a funny girl."

"You're not kidding. Everything I knew was wrong."

"Now you're sad. I'm sorry. I shouldn't make people sad."

"You didn't make me sad, life did all of that, and it was well worth it in the end to wind up here."

"Mmm. This is a nice place. It's awfully small for forever, though."

He looks at the exit door, tilting his head.

"I wonder what would happen if I opened the door. What I'd see. I've only ever tried twice, back at the beginning."