milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Life, it seems, had taken on some sort of routine, whether or not that routine was actually preferable. Stay at the... place they were staying at (certainly not home), go out for a few things but mostly patrol, go back. The bar had stopped inserting itself, and while he was grateful to not have to discuss things, he wasn't grateful for the absence.

But his routine had changed in the last few days, mostly because his father had decided he deserved some sort of break. He'd protested, and tried his best not to, but in the end got ushured off because his father was even more stubborn than he was. So it's been a lot less stressful, and now it seems that the bar is inserting itself once more.

Because instead of ending up where he wants to go, he ends up there instead.

He really has no idea if he's grateful or reluctant about it. He supposes he'll just have to decide after sitting here for awhile in a booth, and seeing who comes around.

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"You guys are all right, though, right?" Physically, at least. After all, you could fix a house, but not a person if they were so thoroughly damaged.

"Physically, yes." As that had probably been the implied question.

"And I'm assuming you guys are hiding out somewhere now," Kyle continued. Because, you know, that seemed the logical thing.

"Yeah. Underground bunker." Which was -so- enjoyable, really. No sarcasm there at all.

Heh.

"Sounds like paradise," Kyle said dryly. But he was trying to lighten the mood somewhat. Really.

"What happened then?" After all, that couldn't be all. The explosion could be a part of it, but not all.

"Mostly just investigation. My father's doing that." Because apparently he didn't want anyone else handling it. Even if it gave them something to do... eh.

"And how are you holding up?" Because that was the real subject of this conversation, wasn't it? How Connor was doing.

"Too much time means too much thinking." Not that this was the real problem. It'd just... helped bring it out. Hm.

"You do tend to overthink things," Kyle said with a chuckle. Sometimes, that could be a good thing. But right now, he doubted that was the case.

"Or not think about them enough." Which was probably some sort of illogical contradiction, but. It was true. "As is the case now."

"Which is...?" Kyle urged, trying to to get him to continue the train of thought.

Connor looks a bit frustrated, and runs a hand through his hair as he tries to figure out how to put it. "I think I've lost myself," he says.

"What do you mean?" Kyle inquired, a bit confused. Not that he didn't know how it felt to lose yourself, but...how was that the case with Connor?

"I don't really know who I am anymore." He'd known, before. At least he'd -thought- he'd known. Maybe he's not so sure, now.

"Did you...just come up with this conclusion with recent events or has it been bugging you for a while?" He frowned a bit. Because wasn't Connor always about knowing yourself and such?

"Too much else to think about," He says, "I didn't have time to notice."

"But now you do, and you don't like it." It didn't take a genius to figure that one out.

"Nothing to like," Connor says, quietly.

"Nothing to like about yourself or how you've lost yourself?" He asked, seriously and honestly.

"The latter," Connor hastens to assure him. He'd never really reached the point of the former, and wouldn't, either. He knew better.

"But isn't a good thing that you're on vacation? It gives you time to find yourself again." Not that it was that easy -- he knew that from experience.

"I wouldn't even know where to start." Which was a part of the problem, really.

"Maybe...when you began to lose track of yourself? As far back as you can remember?" It was weird, helping someone out like this, but that didn't mean he wasn't willing to.

"But that's the problem with something like this, isn't it? Once you doubt one thing, how do you know what -not- to doubt?"

"That's...true enough." After his relationship with Jenn had fallen apart, Kyle had felt like everything else had. That had been a hard time for him. Hopefully, he could help Connor so he didn't feel the same way.

"But I know you're you. And that you're a good man," he said firmly.