milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Serenity's got about another 32 hours before they hit Ezra.

The waiting before a job is usually the worst part, and today Mal is feeling it more so than others. He's checking in with the bar when he receives an eyepatch and a watergun the likes of which he hasn't seen since that ridiculous Assassin game in April.

There's a smirk when he shoves the eyepatch into his pocket, hopping behind the bar and scrawling out a sign before asking Bar for a 3' by 5' cloth.

Mal walks out the door to the lake, damn near whistling.

[ooc: I'm on gchat for any coordinating that might want to happen. Uh. It's not a huge boat, but it'll do. I'll put up an organizing post somewhere if this gets people involved.

ETA: This thread is for any arrivals if you are participating in shenanigans.

ETA AGAIN: OOC COMMUNICATIONS.

And it continues: The Battle Thread. Onlookers welcome.

And food for the spectators. And the winner, obviously.]

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"That explains so much."

"The universe," Ianto says with all the wisdom of his years and experience, "is a very strange place."

"You, Kind Sir, are preaching to the choir. Or...rather the 25 year old retired ninja ex-turtle turned barman at the end of the universe. Which...you know, kind of makes me a choir all by myself."

"Definitely," Ianto says. "I don't know any other ninjas."

He props himself up on his elbow. "Which reminds me. You promised an introduction to your brothers. Then I'd know lots of other ninjas."

"If by lots you mean four."

Mike slurps more smoothie.

"I haven't seen Leo or Don in forever, but my brother Raph just got back from Tortall. He uh...heh, he was a giant panda the other day."

He's not even trying to fight back the giggles.

"Four is a lot more than one."

Ianto can't hold back the WTF? face. "Okay . . . is that normal? For him to be a panda, like you're sometimes a turtle?"

Mike's still laughing.

"Oh no. Not at all no. Raph was a turtle too, until he was a human, and this one time a chicken. This time though, he was a panda because he was picking a fight with Jayne Cobb and the LandLord decided to have a bit of fun with him."

. . . Mike is no easier to understand when Ianto is not buzzed than when he is.

"The Landlord?"

"Mmmhmm."

Mike sort of eyes him.

"You know...my boss? The one who calls the shots, but is never in the line of fire?"

"I have no idea what the hierarchy is in this place," Ianto says comfortably. "All I know is there are bartenders sometimes. And security."

Mike raises his hand well over his head.

"Landlord."

Then slightly further down.

"Bar."

Then about an inch above the sand.

"Barman."

On the sand.

"Patrons."

Under the sand.

"Security."

"Poor Security," Ianto says sympathetically, since that's kind of what he does at home, sort of, in a very vague way.

"Poor Security, indeed. It's kind of a thankless job around here.

I mean, it's usually pretty thankless no matter where you go, but around here that's kind of amplified. Poor bastards."

"I'd think so, what with all the gods and heroes and magicians getting soused and breaking things. And, apparently, turning people into pandas."

"That's why they make the big bucks. Or...you know, we tell them that what they're making is the big bucks.

I took Raph's place in the lineup when he was laid up. Can't say as I'm going to miss it now that he's back. I kind of like being retired from that sort of thing."

"His place in Security, you mean?"

"Yup. He was pulling Security details long before me and my other brothers found our way here. Though...the math on that is problematic."

"Don't tell me pi equals three point one five here or something."

He smiles a little. Geek joke!

Mike just sort of blinks at him.

"The math . . ? Never mind. How was the math problematic?"

"Well like, when I got here people were telling me all these stories about how long Raph'd been here, but I followed him here not long after he found the place.

And I know that because I followed him here. I mean, it's not like we haven't had time issues in the past, er the future...er...well, issues with time before."

Ianto frowns at him a moment, then nods. "Yeah. I know somebody like that."

"Her name wouldn't be Renet, would it? Blonde. Wears a blue leotard with pocket watches all over it."

". . . no. Jack. Mostly wears blue--well, everything."

Mike's brow furrows.

"Anyone I'd know?"

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