(no subject)

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco had spoken to Potter a while back, and Harry mentioned a secret. Something horrible and evil. One that's unspeakable and unforgiveable. Worse than Voldemort himself.

He steeled himself, and asked the Bar for some.

There was a note on a napkin, "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes, just give them already." He scooped up the materials. If you listened closely, you could almost hear the distant voices of cackling evil laughter, and piercingly shrill squees of delight.

He carefully placed them on a table, and ordered a drink. Just from what Harry had said before, he knew he would need it.

Mr. Malfoy was learning about the evil that is HP fandom. (Though luckily, he's being spared the truly mind numbingly worse of the lot, because that's too much for most muns, much less the pup.)

Shortly into reading, there's a loud cry, "URRRGHHHH! I don't even LIKE HIM! And WHY AM I PREGNANT??"

Comments

[stopped-signal.livejournal.com]

At an adjacent table, a guy with a laptop glances up, very slowly.

And arches his eyebrows, also very slowly.





"... Mazel tov," he decides after a moment. A cheerful grin, bordering on 'manic.' "Who's the father?"

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

(*mun dies and comes back to life to hand you an internet* Mr. Universe <3)

"Potter in this one, but in another one it's Snape." He then threw down the papers.

"And I'm not really, it's these blasted horrible stories people wrote about me. What rubbish!"

[stopped-signal.livejournal.com]

Mr. Universe blinks.

"Well, they do say wildly inaccurate fictionalization is the highest form of flattery."

There are some ruthless tabloid writers where this kid's from.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

"Somehow I doubt that. Flattery would be getting my name right, or my eye color at least. Flattery would have me sounding a little like myself.

Flattery

would not have me shrieking and cooing like a little girl!"

And once again, an example of Draco is the incessant whining. Like right now. Also, they did get the shrieking part right. There were eyewitnesses in the bar who could and would attest to this.

[stopped-signal.livejournal.com]

"So what'd they say about you?"

Mr. Universe's curiosity is piqued; the few tidbits that Draco has provided are tantalizing ones. He gets up, laptop and all, and comes around to try and get a look at what the kid's reading.

"If it's any consolation," he adds conversationally, "the entertainment industry really isn't all that worried about getting it right." A fond, long-suffering sigh. "The little scamps. They're almost as bad as the government."

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco shove the papers aside, and flipped some over. In a moment, he'd likely make them vanish with his wand.

"Sounds like the Ministry of Magic. Don't know what they're doing most of the time either."

[stopped-signal.livejournal.com]

"The Ministry of Magic." Mr. Universe's eyebrows arch. "That's a new one. Although it does definitely put me in mind of the Ministry of Silly Walks."

[kinshou-kitsune.livejournal.com]

In the process of making her way back inside the bar after having talked to Ari, the little kitsune-kami stops when she hears the teen cry out..well..a most interesting string of questions. Blinking a few times the kimono dressed woman shuffles over to where he is at with her wooden sandles clicking on the floor softly.

"Have you been cursed?" the bright-eyed woman asks with a look of concern upon her ageless face.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco glanced up in brief shock, "No! And my world doesn't have curses like this! ...Pretty sure we don't. And I'm not really. It's just this mad story that somebody wrote. It doesn't even sound like me, and in other one, they misspell my name as Drake! Horrible."

[kinshou-kitsune.livejournal.com]

The way that Inari's head tilts to the right is very fox-like of her and if Draco had been paying attention when he was playing with the fox night before last, the same eyes. "Ahh I see. There could be seen quite some humor into the words then if it is not true and ment to be an enjoyment to others?"

People had written stories about her as well. She knew where Draco was coming from.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco's usually rather observant so there was some curious watching, and noting the eyes.

"Well, it's funny in stories where it's Longbottom getting stuck like that."

As long as it wasn't him.

[kinshou-kitsune.livejournal.com]

Smiling ever so slightly the kitsune gives a rather amused look across her face. "And you do not find it the least bit funny when it involves you?" It's a very little giggle that escapes from her lips before she nods her head towards the younger human.

"I must admit..it does take a while to become used to such things. Tell me. Are they all that bad?"

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco snorted, "Well it's not funny when they don't even bother to write about me correctly. And even the ones who do then have me snogging Ron or Harry for some bizarre reason. So yes, they are bad, though some are worse."

[goinghost.livejournal.com]

Wide eyes.

"Uh. Well, to answer your question, when a man and women love each other very much, and for some reason the laws of biology decide to work completely the opposite of how they're supposed to..." said a familiar somebody who was currently ghosted out.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco turned at that voice, "Danny? It's been a while, hasn't it?"

He then added bitterly, "And considering how some of these don't bother with a man and a woman, they clearly don't care about any sort of sense about such matters."

[goinghost.livejournal.com]

"It's definitely been a while. All this time and now you're expecting. When's the baby shower?" Danny asked, and upon hearing the rest, he raised an eyebrow and added, "Two girls or two dudes? Although either way, that's even less physically possible."

He floated over to look over Draco's shoulder.

"...What in the heck is this stuff?"

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco snorted, "Very funny, it's not really me. Just these blasted stories people wrote supposedly about me. It's because of that blasted Muggle bint who wrote about Potter. He must have spoken with her."

[goinghost.livejournal.com]

Danny read for a moment, and as he did, his face went through various expressions of disgust, then onto amusement, then he started laughing, then he stopped, and his face twisted up into disgust again.

"Ew." A pause. "Isn't Snape one of your teachers?"

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco headdesked, "Yes, I know. It's horrible. I don't know what these people are thinking. Some of them don't even try to get me right, or my name. And those who do still have me snogging someone like Ron or Harry of all people. I'd have to be Imperio'd to even consider such nonsense! Not even if I was drunk."

He remarked, "Not that I would anyway. I have Mia now." Interesting tone and expression on his face now. It wasn't even like this with Wednesday.

[gorgonfondness]

Well.

That's a strange thing to hear Draco say.

Mia is looking at her boyfriend with a very wide-eyed curious face.

Something like this: O.O

"And you didn't even tell me? How far along are you, dear?"

It's not said with much humor. It's more of grasping for sanity.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Oh... bugger.

Head goes down on the table with a loud "AAAAGH!!!!" And his face is probably as pink as she's ever seen it.





Somewhere amidst the papers and wooden surface, after a minute, there's a faint muffled cry, "It's not really me..."

[gorgonfondness]

Her face looks considerably more normal.

"Thank goodness. I'd hate to see you go through labor."

That might actually be worse than doing it herself.

"What in the world compelled you to say that, though? And after we had been so careful," she couldn't help adding.

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Thud, thud. He was now lightly hitting his head against the table.

"It's these blasted stories. People supposedly writing about me, but they're completely wrong. And one of them has me somehow pregnant."

Thud, thud.

[gorgonfondness]

She sits down next to him and puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't do that. It's not doing you any good."

She eyes the stories cautiously.

"I suppose they would have to be completely wrong if you are the pregnant one."

Wait, what?

"Why are people writing stories about you?"

[dragonofgrey.livejournal.com]

Draco finally lifted his head to look back at her, "Some Muggle bint somehow wrote books about us. About Potter mostly but several of us are mentioned. And apparently other people have decided to write people like me into these horrible situations."